Những bài viết ấn tượng của các Nhà lãnh đạo trẻ
Giải pháp về khí thải, rác thải, dân số và hình thái công việc, bình đẳng xã hội là những nội dung trong các bài luận tiếng Anh nói về cuộc sống trong tương lai được đánh giá xuất sắc nhất năm 2011.
Những bài luận trên nằm trong các tác phẩm tham gia dự thi Nhà lãnh đạo trẻ - Young Leader Scholarship. Dưới đây là nguyên bản tiếng Anh các bài luận trên.
Bài viết của Nguyễn Thanh Huyền (1996) – trường Hanoi Amsterdam – Giải nhất cuộc thi năm 2011
We humans being have been able to control the universe for millions of years for our superior imagination, intelligence and creativity to make our wildest dreams come true. This essay will concentrate on the key aspects to realize human’s ever grave: turning cities into better accommodation.
In my opinion, the fundamental aspect is to draw out a comprehensive plan beforehand. An effective plan ought to involve all the following aspects: to share appropriate investment among the areas, to locate the designs and fix the density of them, to build up all the supporting ornaments for each design, and finally, to forecast the disadvantages and pollution possibilities of the whole process and plan ahead the solutions. Thus, all the projects can as effective as possible without wasting money and workforce.
About the general plan I think future cities shouldn’t be used for diverse purposes as now. It should only be economic and political centre, while residential and manufacturing areas be moved to the outskirts of cities. Cities should be the heart of countries, where the head quarter of corporation, big companies, congress, embassies, etc took place. Residential areas should be placed 30-50 kilometres away from big cities, where natural conditions are more healthful to reside. Those areas should be developed into relaxing resorts for people to regain their health and enthusiasm after constant exhausting working hours. And, manufacturing areas should be built some distance from both cities and residential areas, in regions where natural resources, workforce and other conditions are available. The advantages of this change are that: problems concerning overpopulation in big cities may be solved, companies may be run effectively and easily in connection with one another, factories can enlarge their size and increase their efficiency and people can enjoy the natural and healthful accommodation unharmed from polluted and toxic conditions.
To go into details, firstly, we should modernize the facilities for better working and living conditions. In cities and residential areas, the facilities should be modern and adequate in regard of its importance. We should upgrade and extend traffic, digits and tunnels, and communication system to match with the demand of them. In factories, we should use advanced technology and modernized machine for greater efficiency. However, this does not mean that every city should be developed the same way. Each city should follow an appropriate development plan according to its climate, position, resources, historical and cultural patterns. For example, an ancient city with many historical sights such as Hue should not get rid of its construction for modern designs. Instead, it should develop the service for travelers to enjoy themselves and to discover the city’s unique culture. Therefore, living standard and the economy may be improved. Secondly, we should protect the environment as pollution and global warming are now endangering human’s health and development. New technology to turning exhaust fumes, raw sewage, and other pollutants into eco-friendly substance should be developed and widely used. And, alternative energy, especially solar energy and wind power should totally replace fossil fuels in the near future. Once we can take more advantage from solar energy by an enormous and worldwide system, not only can it provide enough energy for domestical and industrial use, but it can also reduce the effects of global warming. It’s also important to control the amount and effects of chemicals used for cattle and vegetable human consume and develop healthy living environment in residential areas for human benefits.
Thirdly, we should concentrate on public care: building more medical center, schools, amusement parks, welfare funds, especially improving schooling programme and preserving culture. Schooling programme should be more practical, more genuine to suit everybody of different backgrounds, abilities and passion. Job-teaching centers should be expanded to train ignorant youngsters into skillful workers. Educating youngsters about worldwide problems and preserving cultural patterns are also important. Once the youth have knowledge, skills and pride on their traditional values, they will become more successful and more responsible for the country and the environment they are living in. this is the ground to economic and social stability.
In conclusion, to make cities better places, we should organize a comprehensive plan, modernize the facilities, protect the environment and pay more attention to public benefits. To make this happen, we need superior ideas, public attention, abundant investment and social unity. And I believe this is exactly what leaders do: to unite people and lead them to a better world!
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Nguyễn Thanh Huyền
Bài viết của em rất đầy đủ và chi tiết. Em đã khám phá những khía cạnh khác nhau của chủ đề - tự nhiên, xã hội và giáo dục – và cả những vấn đề thực tế đang gây nhiều tranh luận như khí thải, rác thải, dân số và hình thái công việc. Nội dung em viết về khía cạnh lịch sử và văn hóa của một thành phố thực sự rất đặc sắc.
Bài viết của em thể hiện khả năng viết xuất sắc với lượng từ vựng phong phú, cách sử dụng cú pháp học thuật thành thạo.
Bài viết của Phạm Xuân Thắng (1995) – trường Chuyên Trần Phú, Hải Phòng – Giải nhất cuộc thi năm 2011
Every time I meander around this city, I hear people bemoaning the acrid fumes pumped out from the careless flow vehicles, or a beggar sighing hopelessly after being turned down a penny. All these dire situations make me think of urban life as a struggle with countless problems. As a city dweller, I fervently wish to share my opinions on developing cities into an ideal place, in which people can live a satisfying and peaceful life.
Cities may look bustling and vibrant as economic and cultural hubs from the outside. Yet, behind that superficial prosprerity, the citizens are not necessarily enjoying a happy and fulfilling way of life due to such thorny issues as pollution, unemployment and crime, among others. In my opinion, in order to make cities better places to live, we have to find way to promote the material and spiritual welfare of city dwellers.
Economically, cities are beset with enormous issues which are craving to be dealt with. There is a lot to love from a city, which is problem: everybody loves it. The mass exodus into metropolitan areas have created tremendous burden on housing. The dilapidated tenements haphazardly built, or, more notoriously, overcrowded slums are the evils of cities, resulting in escalating crime rate and deteriorating environment. To conquer this, cities are in dire need of a more capable government, which can effectively control the waves of migration and cater decent and affordable public housing to the poor. Another recurring problem which is of no less importance is employment. Cities can help the out-of-work by providing them with unemployment benefits or craeting public sector jobs to keep them temporarily occupied, which are both short-term solutions and cannot thoroughly resolve the issue. Instead, cities should tread a time-consuming but more effective path to educate people , thus craeting a more skillful and experienced workforce. Simultaneously, improving infrastructure is of utmost importance if a city is to be developed into a suitable place to live. Better transportation system, effective energy provision and sewage system will all considerably benefit thewell-being of citizens.
The cultural and spiritual aspect of citizens’ well-being must correspondingly be treated with great consideration. Myself an urbanite, I personally think that to some extent, city lfe is becoming stressfull, partly because the ever-increasing load of work and partly because there are not enough places to help citizens enjoy themselves and live in harmony with nature. Whereas in poorer cities, people continue to live in stuffy box-like environment, many cities in developed nations have tackled this reality by creating parks, green spaces and recreational centers. Besides the aesthetic and ecological values brought about by open spaces, they also serve as a relief of strains and a marvelous opportunity for exercise, thus yielding obvious health benefits. Additionally, worries about safety health and study are major hindrances to the well-being of citizens. Consequently, measures should be taken to promote better healthcare and education, improve police force and advocate for coorperative and friendly communities. Last but not least, the vice of inequality and prejudice poses a serious threat to cities, where people have to carry the burden of racial, ethnic and sexual discriminaton. ‘Discriminatory barrier’ must be lifted, in order to promote sympathy, freedom and democracy.
Indeed, there is no such thing as a perfect city. Undergoing the process of transporting cities into a peaceful and loving home, in which every member is enriched materially and spiritually, would mean formidable obstacles, huge effort and a fierce sense of determination. Still, let us not lose hope, lat us build a better home for three billion city dwellers, let us turn on a glorious page of the book of human evolution.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Phạm Xuân Thắng
Chúc mừng em có 1 bài luận tốt! Phần giới thiệu rất sắc bén và có sự liên tưởng dẫn dắt người đọc tới chủ đề và những vấn đề chính của bài luận. Tôi nhận thấy em đã chạm tới được một số nội dung phức tạp, chuyên sâu và cách chúng liên hệ với nhau.
Em thể hiện sự nhận biết tốt về các vấn đề phức tạp của một đô thị hiện đại như đói nghèo, định kiến cũng như khó khăn về cơ sở hạ tầng. Tôi rất thích những nhận xét của em về khía cạnh tinh thần của chất lượng sống của cư dân – những ý tưởng đó khiến cho bài viết của em trở nên sâu sắc và ấn tượng hơn.
Bài viết của em thể hiện vốn từ vựng dồi dào và cấu trúc ngữ pháp chặt chẽ
Bài viết của Trần Nguyễn Thiên Trang (1995) –THPT Năng khiếu TP HCM – Giải nhất cuộc thi năm 2011
Having spent fifteen years in a peaceful countryside, I used to think of a city as an interesting and dynamic place. In books I have read, a town must be replete with modern skyscrapers, shopping centres and smiling citizens going to work. Nevertheless, only when I myself reside there can I perceive the fact that outwardly, city seems similar to a luxuriant tree where there are many dangerous worms spoiling it in silence. That is to say, it takes greater effort to make city an ideal area by addressing the issues of traffic, environment and society.
Firstly, in a metropolis, traffic is of considerable importance since it affects not only on human life but on economic growth as well. These day, traffic congestion which is known as an obsession of urban residents is really common in big cities such as São Paulo or Bangkok. My Ho Chi Minh city is not an exception, indeed, if it hadn’t been for terrible traffic jam, I wouldn’t have been late on my first day going to school!
Secondly, a pure environment is also an indispensable feature of an ideal place to live. In fact, consuming a large amount of energy as well as materials, urban areas fail to relax and as a result, there is obviously a substantial increase in the number of city dweller developing respiratory and cardiovascular problems.
Thirdly, it is necessary to take social problems into consideration, especially the social classification. Cities in some nations have experienced great disparity between the rich and the poor which leads to serious crimes and other social evils. An illustration of this is my Ho Chi Minh city, where there are wealthy men enjoying themselves in villas, meanwhile, others are struggling to keep their head above wate. Even worse, those people including the elderly and children have to live rough under the bridge and become beggars pleading for money to make ends meet.
As we all know, the authorities along with experts have already put forward many solutions to the above-mentioned issues. Those suggestions, however, do not really works in some countries due to a lack of civic responsibility, as the old saying goes: “It is better for a city to be governed by a good man than good laws”. If it is so, education plays the most significant role in raising people’s awareness towards their own town.
In years to come, cities in all parts of the world will see more changes. Each individual has their choice of where to lead a content life: it may be a dynamic place as Mumbai, a peaceful Wellington, a London with many age-old buildings or a modern town called New York. In conclusion, an ideal city is where you can travel around conveniently and freely, breath in the fresh air and always catch sweet, happy smiles on other’s faces.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Trần Nguyễn Thiên Trang
Bài luận của em thể hiện trình độ tiếng Anh xuất sắc, tính tượng hình nên thơ, khả năng sử dụng cụm từ nối cuốn hút người đọc và khiến cho bài viết thêm sống động.
Nội dung bài viết cho thấy em có sự thấu cảm với cuộc sống xung quanh, có sự hiểu biết nhất định về các vấn đề sống còn mà loài người đang phải đối mặt – ví dụ như khoảng cách giàu nghèo trong xã hội.
Bài viết có cấu trúc tốt với một dàn ý rõ ràng trình bày được mạch lạc 4 lập luận của em. Đây là những kỹ năng vô cùng quý giá để em có thể thành công khi theo học đại học tại Australia
Bài viết của Nguyễn Quỳnh Anh (1996) – trường Chuyên Lam Sơn Thanh Hóa – Giải Nhì cuộc thi năm 2011
“The whole world in one city” – That is not only an impressive slogan but also a reality in today’s life. Indeed, the globalization and increasing city-to-city networks suggest that while determining key issues of future cities, it is important to consider global concerns: Health Service, Cultural Diversity and Economic Development. However, to gradually deal with these matters at city-level, tomorrow leaders will have to highlight specific goals, suitable for social movements.
William Shakespeare once said: “What is the city but the people?” Therefore, the most important issue of future cities must not lie beyond ensuring human well-being. In fact, providing a good healthcare system is always a serious question of all times. Without optimal health status, how can future citizens increase the working efficiency and enjoy recreational activities as well as other services available? This very basic issue is undoubtedly the key condition for the long-term development of the economy and the improvement in the quality of life. Nowadays, the stress and overwork suggest that the ideal Health Service System will have to solve both physical and mental diseases.
Furthermore, the cultural diversity will require attention. Under the impact of globalization, future cities will welcome people from different origins. Thus, the big question is how to decrease cultural differences among group members, while still avoiding cultural blending. It is obvious that overcoming mentioned problems will not only ensure the peace and harmony of cities but also consolidate a collective value system of an emerging community. Furthermore, this will also make it easier for us to work in a cohesive manner to overcome common challenges and enrich existing traditional values. So, it is tomorrow citizens’ role to turn cultural diversity from challenge to opportunity. Let us learn from typical cities such as Singapore or Sydney, where the tolerance and respect towards diverse cultures, ethnicities and religions lie in everyone’s heart as a serious commitment. If we cannot do so, all cities will end up in consistent conflicts and tragic wars.
Finally, it goes without saying that economic development is always what motivates any society. However, plentiful people still think that the purpose of business is nothing other than profit. Now, it’s time future cities’ leaders applied a model that encourages the role of business in tomorrow’s society. The benefits are obvious! First, modern technologies can help tackle environmental problems and poverty. Second, new businesses, new markets, and new customers created among poor people will have to do with their hard living-conditions and the appearance of cities. Summoning these resources will mean leading business to combine profit and social missions. Failing to do so, companies may have to operate in a city where almost every one is too poor to afford their products. The balance is therefore, never gained in a society unless we consider helping businessmen understand their duties to the community the key requirement.
The matters mentioned, including health service, cultural diversity and business sense are essential basis of life. Nonetheless, in this fast-changing world, the path towards reaching these goals can be extremely rocky without essential values, including education, mass media and young generation. Last but not less, future ‘global citizens’ will have to move beyond simplistic messages and call to actions, or these goals will become meaningless.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Nguyễn Quỳnh Anh:
Kiến thức về thế giới xung quanh được em sử dụng tốt trong bài viết bằng các nhận định về quá trình đô thị hóa và xây dựng lập luận của mình một cách thuyết phục.
Em đã lựa chọn một số vấn đề khác lạ để bình luận. Điều này cho thấy suy nghĩ của em độc lập và có tính phản biện – một phẩm chất được đánh giá cao trong các trường đại học Australia. Lập luận về tính đa dạng văn hóa khiến cho bài viết của em thêm phần sâu sắc.
Em có khả năng viết luận tốt với vốn từ phong phú và cách sử dụng nhiều cấu trúc ngữ pháp phức tạp.
Bài viết của Nguyễn Lê Phương Thảo (1996) – trường Olympia – Giải Nhì cuộc thi năm 2011
Nowadays, people are extremely stressed and tensed because of many reasons: traffic jams, work pressured, lack of time to relax, pollutions, etc. Cities are more suffocating day by day. So the solution to solve all of these problems is that we will design cities that also function as a huge entertainment centers in which everyone feels comfortable and relaxed like they are living in a national parks.
Firstly, we will plan the city in form of multiple separated satellite cities. In each of these residential areas there are all kinds of convenience infrastructure that are indispensible to life, like schools, hospitals, shopping malls, entertainment centers. Working office will stay in the center city and everyone can commute to works. Also, factories are placed outside and far from these areas to sustain a healthy environment in the living areas. Therefore, they don’t have to travel a lot which means they don’t have to get up so early to avoid traffic jams so that they will have a better life, also their health.
Secondly, we will public transport system to help people travel from one residential are to another and from home to work places as easily as possible Travelling on public transport can be somewhat boring and repetitive, so that I come up with an idea of integrating the public transport with the roller-coaster that is usually seen in the amusement park. The purpose of this is people having fun experience as in the parks everyday. Because of this ideal public transport system’s fascination, people will be attracted to using the public transport so traffic jams, accidents and pollutions will be reduced significantly. We will make it more enjoyable by designing roller-coaster which will go through some artificial lakes, rivers, valleys therefore they can feel relaxed and comfortable. For some young people who like adventurous experience, we will construct some winding road. In each roller-coasters, we will divide it into five main cabins: one for children (less than 12 years old), one for teenagers (from 12- 29), one for middle-aged (from 30-49) and the last is for old people (more than 50 years old). We will divide because it will help the passengers feel more comfortable and they all can make friends and talk to each other easier. Each cabin will have a special service: The one for children will have toys, crayons and paper to draw and comics; the one for teenagers will have magazines, some modern music, comics and novels; middle-aged will have magazine, coffee in the morning and some soft music and old people will have tea in the morning, newspaper, chess and some traditional music. The last is very special that it is for family: People who travel in group can enjoy family spirit insides family cabins which are specially designed for this purpose. It all helps people feel satisfied and want to travel by this transport again.
Thirdly, nowadays people are living so fast that they do not have time to do things they like. So, we can make the walls become TV and computers which run by solar energy and it will show advertisement or some brief news that people can watch when they are in the roller-coasters or even on roads. They can watch and know what is going on wherever, whenever which means they can save a lot of time and then spend that time to do other things. For computer, people must pay money for this, they are charged by coins and paper money. There are automatic machines which for people put coins or paper money in. They can access to the Internet, play games, etc whenever they want and all the money is earned will be for upgrading infrastructure
Lastly, we will plant more trees, we will plant diversified trees: Flowers and bushes will be planted around the cities and fruit trees will be planted in residential areas so that people can collect fruits directly which means they can eat them freshly and don’t have to be afraid of exotic chemical. All the trees will be pruned, except fruit trees. Planting more trees will help us solve the problem about air pollution because it will absorb carbondioxide and eliminate oxygen so we will have more fresh air to breath. Beside the function as making cities more beautiful, it also helps people to have a fresh area to live so that they will have a better health.
All of the problems can be solved as quickly as possible if this plan can be started. I think it will be very effective and essential.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Nguyễn Lê Phương Thảo:
Bài luận của em thực sự khác biệt với cách tiếp cận sâu sắc về vấn đề đô thị hóa trong việc nâng cao chất lượng giao thông công cộng. Tôi đánh giá cao cách suy nghĩ sang tạo và việc lồng ghép ví dụ thực tế làm cho các lập luận trở nên dễ thuyết phục hơn. Tuy nhiên các bài viết ở trình độ đại học sẽ đòi hỏi em làm quen với phong cách viết học thuật chính thống hơn. Và tôi rất mong em vẫn giữ được sự sang tạo trong suy nghĩ của mình trong các format viết khác nhau
Bài viết của Trần Vân Trang (1995) – trường PT Chuyên Trần Đại Nghĩa HCM – Giải Nhì cuộc thi năm 2011
Twilight, twilight! The sun finally returned to its shelter and let the beautiful moon conquer the immense sky. Having finished my math tutoring class, I was eager to be bound for my “home sweet home” on my bike. Unfortunately, shortly afterwards, I was in such an unpleasant situation like my every mundane day.: stuck in the chaosof a huge number of vehicles and suffocated by hazardous exhaust fumes. Then I stopped for a while and lost in thoughts. The image of a peaceful and highly civilized city in the future without traffic congestion and pollution, without crime, without diseases fantastically opened before my eyes. However, in my point of view, in order for this dream city to be real, the education issues should be vital and of great concern because an excellent all-round education will definitely create a rising generation with skill, knowledge, morality and youthful idealism. Moreover, such generation is the key factor to determine the development of society.
To begin with, if we regard education as an issue of utmost importance and make considerable efforts to iprove its equality and quality, the enhancement of equality in education greatly contributes to the development of a society because it offers people more chances to get acess to a desirable and excellent education. As a result, with knowledge and degrees, people will get a higher income and enjoy a better living condition. Further, the equality in education might make it easier for people to discover and nurture many great talents, who are potentially capable of bringing about momentous changes for the society.
What’s more, about the issue of quality, an all-round education must palce its emphasis on both social behavior and academic knowledge. Furthermore, the approach of teaching should be pratical and interesting, thus making the students feel strongly committed to their education. Additionally, with a view to making teach and learning more productive and practical, schools and universities should adopt the application of up-to-date high technology. Besides, the collaboration and harmony between students is crucial and fundamental because it does make a society united, developed and become a better place to live. For instance, after the catastrophic earthquake and tsunami in March 2011, Japanese were admired for their united and resilient spirit. More important,had it not been for their examplary education focusing on the unity between people, Japanese wouldn’t have overcome such an adversity..
Therefore, with the advancement of education, our city will have the best scientists that make many stunning findings such as the cure for HIV/AIDS or cancer, thus allowing more people to enjoy and live life to the fullest, or we can have the best engineers or architects to construct a modern city with delightful scenery and great infrastucture. Also, the best environmentalists can help us tremendously in protecting our environment and prolonging the sustainability of the city. Unquestionably, many city-dwellers desperately long for the day in a near future they can get rid of the displeasing and hazardous exhaust fumes and polluted environment.
Nowadays, there’s an imbalance between moral and academic importance in education because the significance of morality tends to be undervalued. Hence, the rate of crime and deliquency has increased dramatically in the recent decades, especially in Ho Chi Minh city. If you dwell in this place, you will definitely have to admit that youngsters today are to some extent too ill-behaved. Indeed, they don’t bother to conform to the law. Passing the red light, racing at a fatal speed has now become their evil pleasure. These bad phenomena provoke a growing alarm in the society, and many people have questioned the role of education in nurturing good behavior for th youth. At a more alarming degree, many young people committed serious crime such as violence, musder and thieve. As an example, the case of Le Van Luyen, who is just seventeen years old, has been one of the most controversial nationwide debates over the past two months. Because of his greediness and in humanity, he killed three out of four members of a family, including an eighteen-old-month baby, and cut off one arm of the other eight-year-old girl. From this severe case, the debate on the role of education arose. In brief, we should highl regard the value of morality in young children and foster the moral education at schools in order to achieve a society free of crime.
In a nutshell, good society comprises of well-behaved and well-educated individuals, thereby enhancing the quality and equality of education is the one and only key to open the door to our dream city . suddenly, such an annoying “Beep” brought me back to reality, jostling in the intense stream of vehicles. Personally, I am really looking forward to living in an ideal prosperous and safe city, hoping other people have the same thought as mine. Finally, the crowd dipersed I headed my way toward home, and still the idea of this city bloggled my mind.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Trần Vân Trang:
Phần mở bài rất ấn tượng và sống động đã lôi cuốn được sự quan tâm của người đọc và dẫn dắt khéo léo tới chủ đề em sẽ tranh luận trong phần nội dung.
Em đã đề cập đến các vấn đề phức tạp và sâu sắc ảnh hưởng tới cuộc sống tại các thành phố lớn. Tôi rất thích cách em trích dẫn những ví dụ thực tế trong bài viết của mình – đây là một trong những phương pháp luận quan trọng khi em theo học tại các bậc học cao hơn như Dự bị Đại học hay chương trình đại học. Bài viết của em sử dụng rất nhiều từ vựng tốt.
Bài viết của Nguyễn Hồng Diệu Trinh (1995) – British International School HCM – Giải Nhì cuộc thi năm 2011
Ho Chi Minh is themost developed city in Viet Nam, where the prodigious buildings, opulent cars, cosmopolitan people symbolism its affluence. Ironically, under this glamorous surface, there are still a lot of people struggle to earn money, to survive, to afford their basic needs, especially STREET CHILDREN. This suddenly arouses a question in me “ If you have a power to make your city become a better place, what would you do?”.When I was a child, I have always dreamt to provide shelter, education as well as opportunities for street children. And if I have such a power, I want to fulfill that dream.
Firstly, why would I like to help out street children not something else like improving the infrastructure? The main reason for this is the country with well-educated children is like the soldier who all prepares properly ready for the battle. Thus, kids are the foundation of a new Vietnam . Our country already has a lot of genius, for example Ngo BaoChau who won the Field Medal in mathematics. This shows instead of improve the education program, we should concentrate on how to make the unfortunate children access to education. Importantly, the impact of education on street children is dramatic. According to the book “ Street Children in Vietnam”, the statistic shows that the top three dangers that street children confront are heroin addiction, being robbed of lottery tickets ,and road accidents. Therefore, education is acted as a protective shield for street children. In addition, it also gives the children the new path in life, heading for their future included career and success.
Justice and equality present every corner of the earth. Hence, every child should have the right to study. The government should reinforce the laws in education. For instance, the Singapore’s policy demands that school is compulsory at elementary and secondary levels, parents who do not take their kids to school means they go against the law and will be fined/charged. Importantly, the government must pay the school fees for the public schools’ students. Viet Nam invests most of the money for education, so why the government doesn’t spend that money on freeing the school fees? This can assure that even poor children can go to school.
Nowadays, there are a lot of programs to foster street children throughout Viet Nam. The SOS organization provides children with a home, where kids can be protected and studied here. Hence, expansion of these projects can be taken place such as increasing the campaigns. People who involved in this campaign should be the one who have the influential impact on the pervasive citizens such as a famous actor. Moreover, training the staff can ameliorate the effectiveness of these programs. Staff can be trained and taught about kids’ emotions as well as how to deal with them. Since these vulnerable kids need someone to understand them. The programs can also be introduced in school, offering youngsters to take participation in helping the street children. This is not only raising the community awareness but also make the street children feel being part of a society. At best, the Viet Nam citizens will be more united as a team. The gap between the rich and poor can be abridged. This is when we are the strongest and the most invincible.
In a nutshell, street children are part of the society so their problems are our concerns. They are the keys to every door. Government should invest in education productively as well as encourage programs or campaign. As Mother Teresa quoted “We can do no great things. Only small things with big heart", let’s start to give the street children a hand, give them all our genuine hearts!
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Nguyễn Hồng Diệu Trinh:
Điểm khác biệt của bài viết là tập trung vào một vấn đề - điều này giúp cho em có được những lập luận thống nhất và xuyên xuốt. Cách tiếp cận vấn đề cho thấy em có một sự cảm thông sâu sắc với mọi người và có những quan tâm tới công bằng và bình đẳng trong xã hội. Tôi rất mong em giữ được những tâm nguyện và suy nghĩ này khi theo học ở các bậc cao hơn.
Tôi đánh giá cao cách em nêu những ví dụ cụ thể và đưa ra được hướng hành động và giải pháp cho những vấn đề được đề cập đến.
Tôi rất mong em tiếp tục phát triển khả năng sử dụng các cấu trúc ngữ pháp tiếng Anh trong kỹ năng viết luận của mình
Những nỗ lực của em rất đáng được ghi nhận
Bài viết của Nguyễn Hoàng Tùng (1995) – trường Hà Nội Amsterdam– Giải Nhì cuộc thi năm 2011
An ideal future city blends with many characteristics, yet a sustainable development holds the most important role. It must meet all the needs of citizens as well as preserve the environment. A future city is not only a place to live in, but a utopia
A sustainable development requires feasible urban planning with great attention to environment capital. The infrastructure development must be viewed in long term vision thus provide citizens with high-tech facilities for the rapid growth of the city. An overall picture of building infrastructure must be environment friendly, efficient and cost effective and gives dwellers the feeling of comfort ability. Affordable housing is sufficient to all indulgent people but stands up to living standards. Close, high density housing and compact downtown are also urged to reduce the traffic and the travelling time, as well as minimize the urban sprawl. The height, design and color of all buildings and houses are censored before constructing.
With tremendous population, future cities must ensure the existent and upcoming flow of people as well as the business transaction by offering a good transport and logistics infrastructure. Public transportation like bus and metro should be most convenient and reliable to users. It is also promoted to lever individual transportation by expanding roads and parking space. City mobility is a challenge but traffic noise is a nuisance. Considerable distance from houses to roads or tree-lined streets often lends a hand.
Sustainable development is also imperative. The use of natural resources to fulfill human’s demand must be less than the natural ability to replenish. New methods are applied to play down the use of non-renewable resources and pollution from waste. Green, renewable energy sources like solar energy, wind turbines are given incentives. The city is designed with environmental preservation in mind. The green areas like parks and forests are extended, while office and residential space are put in small geographic areas to balance the loss in biodiversity. Environmental friendly materials like insulated glass, low wattage lamps or cooling towers should always be place a high priority. The government is able to integrate environmental considerations into the physical planning and other policies of the city.
The intellectual and social part of a city holds the key to a future city. The most important assets of the city are the knowledge, the abilities of its citizens. Proper education must be guaranteed to supply the human resource. City leaders have to offer best policies to attract skilled and intellectual people to nourish the human resource. The close relationship between citizens and the community must be foster to make them feel attached to the community. The living environment has a great impact on the quality of life, making citizens feel secured and delighted. Social networks help link all citizens, bringing a golden chance for them to understand and assist each other better. Such things like vandalism or crime are less likely to happen.
In short, with all above things, I personally believe that are the key factors for a future city. However, it is the long term vision that brings the ultimate ticket to an ideal future city.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Nguyễn Hoàng Tùng:
Chúc mừng em có một bài viết hay! Chủ đề này hoàn toàn khác biệt với nội dung các bài viết khác vì em đã đề cập đến vấn đề rộng và phức tạp hơn như tính bền vững và mạng lưới xã hội.
Em có vốn từ vựng phong phú để diễn tả suy nghĩ của mình và đưa ra được những minh họa rất cụ thể như động cơ turbin chạy bằng sức gió hay các khu dân cư tập trung để dẫn chứng cho các lập luận của mình.
Khả năng tranh luận của em về các vấn đề phức tạp sẽ là một kỹ năng quan trọng giúp em thành công tại trường đại học.
Hy vọng sẽ gặp em một ngày không xa tại chương trình Dự bị Trinity College và the University of Melbourne!
Bài viết của Phạm Nguyễn Khánh Vân (1995) – American International School HCM – Giải Ba cuộc thi năm 2011
The Best Spring Roll Maker in the World
Wow! Vietnamese spring roll is a delicacy to my own tongue. Somehow I found spring roll is a really comparable object to a city. Its delectable taste is determined by a variety of elements, such as the fresh vegetables, meat, fish sauce, and Chinese sausage. A city likewise is also very complex.. I’m going to help you identify all of the of the spring roll.
The rice paper is in charge of wrapping everything tightly together so that the food doesn’t fall apart. Similarly, the governor keeps his city together as a functioning whole. He/she should make every effort to prevent corruption and attract able officials. Sometimes you might see an unattractive crack on the rice paper surface and you immediately “lose faith” in picking it up. It doesn’t even have a chance to do its wrapping job. Don’t let the citizens lose faith in the government because of the corruptions. For instance, in 2005, Ho Chi Minh City had a corruption ranking of 107/159 and this was deadly serious. We can solve this problem in many different ways. One of them is the use of stronger punishment for bribery. We can also use Malcolm Gladwell’s technique in the book named “The Tipping Point”. He said, “Little things can make a big difference.” Perhaps any official members, no matter if they are mayors or just low-ranking government officials, can bring about a small difference by becoming role models in preventing corruption and create a tremendous impact. Once bribery is in decline, the government can do its best job and recruit real excellent members that will benefit the whole city. The rice paper will “wrap” the whole city tightly together.
The vegetables, despite being the “optional” elements, can still contribute to the perfection of the spring roll. The natural environment of a city may seem irrelevant in determining its wealth. Instead, it indirectly affects the social life of the citizens and the surroundings so a city will need certain freshness to put in this “spring roll”, especially when pollution in the urban areas is such a serious topic that most countries are seeking a solution. Public transportation like buses can reduce the amount of private vehicles and as a result mitigate pollution caused by traffic. In some cities of Pakistan, the municipal governments encourage their citizens to use buses that run on Compressed Natural Gas (CNG). Secondly, industrial factories are similar to detrimental worms that would love to digest every single piece of greenery. The city government should control the amounts of noxious wastes that the factories release then let the citizens enjoy the freshness of their own piece of “salad”.
The meat might determine the overall quality of the Vietnamese spring roll. If there’s no meat, it’s like a city without education. Education is such an essential element that without it, children will not be educated. Furthermore, the lack of education will increase not just the unbalance of social classes but also the criminal rates. The city can provide more scholarships to help the students to study both at home and abroad. It will motivate more students excel at school. There will thus be more dedicated officials. Education can be promoted through colorful posters and newspapers can convince students and parents that schools are really fun. Finally, the quality of the meat can be determined by the process of boiling and frying. How schools transfer knowledge to their students is also very important. In the USA, even though all of the states have different textbooks and teaching standards, they still have to meet the requirement of spreading knowledge.
Put the whole spring roll into your mouth and let all of the ingredients included satisfy your stomach. The “hungry” citizens in some of the countries are beseeching to have a “tasty” city that meets all of their needs; such as government, education, and environment. A prestigious city, as always, is the best “spring-roll” maker in the world.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Phạm Nguyễn Khánh Vân:
Tôi rất thích thú khi em sử dụng hình ảnh món nem của Việt Nam làm sự so sánh ví von liên tưởng tới chủ đề của bài viết – đây là một cách tiếp cận rất sang tạo, hài hước. Tôi đánh giá cao cách em sử dụng sự so sánh này để nhận định tính quan trọng & sự liên kết của các vấn đề (như việc sử dụng hàm lượng rau và thịt sẽ quyết định chất lượng của món nem)
Bài luận có một sự cân đối dễ chịu, bắt đầu bằng việc nếm mùi vị của nem trên đầu lưỡi và kết thúc là sự ẩn dụ về miệng của những người dân bị nạn đói.
Em có sự tự tin trong cách nhìn nhận các vấn đề phức tạp – kỹ năng này rất quan trọng khi em theo đuổi con đường học vấn tại các trường đại học trên thế giới.
Bài viết của Nguyễn Hoàng Yến (1995) – THPT Chuyên Vĩnh Phúc– Giải Ba cuộc thi năm 2011
All of us have a dream city where we would like to stay, where we would like to grow old and settle down, a city which is convenient and friendly. The question is: How do we create ideal cities to live in for the future? It is not surprising if many people will immediately think of the infrastructure, modern facilities services, good transportation and etc. However, during the last 5o years, the mail goal in city planning has been creating efficient and easily accessible cities, so the focus has put on community infrastructure like sewers, roads, electrical, gas and water utilities and other aspects of the physical structure. These planning strategies have had a large number of unintended consequences with impact on the social life of cities. Thus, social sustainability become important in creating sustainable cities; or in other words, social sustainability is the key issue to make cities better to live in for the future.
Social sustainability focuses on individuals’ behaviors, attitude and actions. A community is composed of people as well as the places where they live; it is as much a social environment as a physical environment. Communities must not only be environmentally and economically but also be socially sustainable. Therefore, citizen participation plays an important role in creating livable cities. Every individual has rights to protect and develop their cities, they need to be more responsible for the public property and there must be mutual trust and cooperation between people to build a united community which is considered as a vital factor to make cities perfect places to live in. Although modern facilities can help our life more simple, but it cannot ensure that individuals, families and communities will have sustainable lifestyles. Supposing in a city, people live indifferently to the world around them, they just care about themselves and just do what they want, what benefits them, what would this city be? Whether this city is rich, modern or not, it is not an ideal city for people to live in. Take Japan, the country which experienced the worst ever earthquake disaster in its modern history in 2011, as an example, people around the world felt horrible for what Japanese went through, but people also highly appreciated the precious awareness of Japanese, the ways they helped each other to get through the tragedy, even if they do not know each other. What a beautiful lifestyle! Cities will be much more happy and livable if everybody has this lifestyle. Overall, not only physical structure, basic needs for food, shelter, education, work, income and working conditions … but also people’ actions, attitude and consciousness should be taken into consideration to make cities better to live in.
In conclusion, making cities become better to live depends not only the government but also the individual awareness of each citizen. All the cities in the world will become wonderful places which have no crimes, no discrimination, no poverty … if the social sustainability is improved associated with the development of economic, infrastructure. I always imagine a city like that, a friendly environment where I can live happily with my family, friends and neighborhoods.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Nguyễn Hoàng Yến
Bài viết của em được đánh giá cao về sự khám phá 2 mặt đối lập của chủ đề - mặt vật chất và xã hội. Những nhận xét của em về vấn đề môi trường của thành phố rất xác đáng.
Em đã lựa chọn một văn phong tranh luận phù hợp để thể hiện suy nghĩ của mình với nhiều cấu trúc đa dạng như câu hỏi tu từ, đưa dẫn chứng và tổng hợp những quan điểm.
Bài viết của Bùi Diệu Linh (1995) – PT Năng khiếu HCM – Giải Tư cuộc thi năm 2011
Human life has never stopped developing. The expanded knowledge of sciences and technology has led people to access high apex quality of life with modern lifestyles in big cities. However, recently the pictures of these cities is challenging to many complex global issues because of the too fast development. I believe that fixing this picture by considering carefully the essential problems is an effective way to make cities more wonderful places to live in for the future.
Environment is considering in developed cities along with the message ‘Friendly with the environment’. The industrialization has brought many benefits to modern life, but also results in environment seriously and even make it become so far difficult to recover. Large amount of carbon dioxides and other kinds of poisonous chemistries released from factories and traffic are main reasons for the climate changes all over the world. A good example of this is ice melting, which will make many cities near the sea become completely under the sea due the rising of sea levels. In addition, the pollution of atmosphere, water and soil not only destroy the nature but also affect people health with the increase of cancer and infectious diseases. Creating a better life in this case is to overcome the difficulties of industrialization process, which means cities must quickly find out suitable project to keep them away from pollution or environment changing and direct to a green beautiful city in the future.
On another angle in the picture of a typical city, accommodations and jobs are complex issues. Although the city was covered by high buildings, beautiful skyscrapers or villa area, the situation of lacking space for living still exist because of unreasonable contribution in city projects. Moreover, the accommodation fees are too high that some poor or unemployed people must be live in slums or even become homeless people. Therefore, the perfect policies in economics in which the economics are always stable with the variety opportunities in jobs for citizens of all skills and backgrounds, the living cost is adjusted possibly. People will be not worried too much about subsistence expense, and they will comfortable to enjoy their lives with the words of ‘Happiness’.
Besides the economics, nowadays education has been prioritized as the most important policy on developing city. School was built more with modern facilities and better methods in teaching. Students have more opportunities to access higher technology for their studies. However, the overuse of these convenient conditions, the pressure from school, and tendency to learn science subjects has made students become passive people as the robots. What is more? They are lacking of soft skills which are the most important elements in dynamic cities. Therefore, in order to build a perfect city, government should educate their citizens become perfect people with high awareness, wide experiences and knowledge. I believe that in high-awareness, people will protect and develop their city in everyday actions, and they raise strong love for their city in which force them to real actions, real efforts that make city to be more perfect, more wonderful.
People’s lives are like the growth of green trees. The trees grew strongly, full of energy when they are put in rich nutrients soil; people are happier, healthier when they are capable of living in an ideal city, which fully support of both mental and physical condition. Everybody tend to expect a better life, imagine about a wonderful life in a beautiful city. Why don’t we spread the dream about a happy life in a perfect city to everybody and together build ideal cities for living in the future.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Bùi Diệu Linh:
Em bắt đầu bài luận của mình với quan điểm phản biện tốt, thách thức những “thành quả” trong quá khứ. Bài viết của em được cấu trúc tốt xung quanh một số vấn đề tương thích – môi trường, kinh tế và giáo dục. Em đã tiếp cận được với một số vấn đề phức tạp như đói nghèo, mực nước biển tăng và cách những hiện tượng này liên quan đến nhau.
Bài viết của Phạm Hải Long (1995) – Saigon South International School – Giải Tư cuộc thi năm 2011
A city , as what we have always thought of , is a modern place for people to live in. and in order to be qualified for that ‘modern’ criterion, a city itself should maximize its potential of ensuring the living standard of its citizens. In other words, the human factor should be the center of a so-called modern city, instead of prevailing industrialization.
What features exactly should a city possess for the betterment of people? Firstly, a city shoud consist of to separate regions – one in the center especially designed for human daily life and the other further from the center for fundamental developmnents.
As stated above, the ‘human’ region is devoted solely for its people. Therefore, in this area, the life of each individual is to be highly valued – the population density should be controllded in a sustainable limitation. And the city gorvernors should put more money into creating a ‘green’ living environment for their residents by planting more trees and natural parks. In addition, other infrastructural developments made will have a massively positive impact on people’s living conditions. The first to be improved in a city should be the transport systems to curtail the chances of traffic jam: more cossing bridges up in the air and more underground subways should be built to give people greater access to transportation. Among those people, there will be a large number of handicapped ones; bearing that in mind, they will need some kind of specia roads for them to move easily and there ought to be groups of social workers to assist them on the way. As the matter of fact, we are totally able to develop a ‘two-in-one’ living place in a urban community, which will have it electrical wiring system and such basic services as suway stations, parking lots, restaurants or malls, laid beneath the ground, along with ‘human-developing’ buildings above. To be specific, the above city is to brims of schools, universities, institutes, libraries, museums, theaters, gyms, etc, aiming to develop humans profoundly. Explicitly, if these suggestions were realized, they would likely maximize the space and furthermore, living standards, for humans.
On the other hand, in contast, the outside region should devote itself not solely for the purposes of industrialization, but also for other needs as well. This is the place where all the industrial firms and factories should be located to facilitate the flow of manufacture as well as to create more job opportunities for the labour class. Regarding the enormous residence of these people around this area, it is highly recommended that the authorities pay to built large-scale low-priced apartment systems for them. Moreover, the health care and living standards for these classmen should be taken into tremendous consideration since they have to do very exacting and exhausting work day by day in harsh conditions. Thus, there is a great demand in hospitals, spacious recreational areas and above those, green ecological areas for trees play a pivotal role as the lung of the city for survival.
To sum up, a mordern and civilized city must be characterized as being green and creating the best standards for people to live in, to study, to research, to work, and most importantly, to enjoy their life.
Nhận xét của giảng viên Trinity College/University of Melbourne về bài viết của Phạm Hải Long:
Chúc mừng em đã lựa chọn một chủ đề thống nhất cho bài viết của mình: tập trung cuộc sống thành phố vào “yếu tố con người” hơn là những “yếu tố công nghiệp”. Chủ đề tập trung này cho phép em đề cập đến nhiều khía cạnh của cuộc sống đô thị - tắc đường, bình đẳng và quyền được tiếp cận, dân số và chăm sóc sức khỏe – trong một khung tranh luận chặt chẽ.
Tôi thích suy nghĩ sáng tạo của em về việc sử dụng khoảng không (bầu trời và lòng đất) cho các thành phố chức năng. Những suy nghĩ độc lập như vậy được đánh giá cao tại các trường đại học Australia
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